By: Peter C. Siegel, R.H.
© 2007 Peter C. Siegel, R.H.

You've had your eye on that special someone. And from a distance, her smiles back in your direction indicate she's interested. Now, you really want to go over to her, and “break the ice”, and see if you can connect with her.

But wait -- as this idea becomes engaged as a "go" for you, you feel the confidence you need to follow through on your mission eluding you; self consciousness, doubt, and tentativeness now noticeably unfold.

"What if her smiles were just her way of being nice to me; what if she's really not interested in me at all, and rejects my conversation attempt and/or asking her out?!" What if, what if, what if!

I’m thinking you might be tired of "what-iffing" yourself into a corner, wishing you had the confidence to act upon your connection desire so you could triumph? If so, here’s a tested, proven strategy I developed to decidedly build your self confidence ?? enabling you to comfortably approach your potential Miss Right (or Miss Right Now), and positively connect with her.

These following tips are very targeted. And applying them as outlined will help you break the self inhibiting chains within you, and bolster your confidence to noticeable, empowering degrees so you can smoothly, efficiently break the ice with her.

Before you approach her:

1.) Fill yourself with every conceivable idea of why you're a person of worth, value, and desirability, i.e.,
• "I am smart"
• "I am interesting"
• "I am capable"
• "I am caring"
• "I am honest, genuine and sincere", etc.
Pass as many of these self-truth type ideas through your mind that you can think of.

2.) Make yourself irresistible in your mind.
Form a clear and vivid impression of yourself as someone who women would find irresistible (and I just don't mean as a "sexual servicer"). Clearly see - and feel - yourself as a capable, provocative, confidence filled, fun to be with embodiment of substance and esteem.
Practice cultivating this inner you, and holding it in your mind as the way you see you. (The more you do this, the more real it will seem, and really you it will become!)

3.) Define in your mind what's in it for her to meet, and connect with you.
Sell yourself on what you truly believe will be her benefit from contact with you (for example, she'll enjoy quality, sincere companionship. She'll feel valued, cared for, and special. She'll enjoy someone who can make her laugh, and feel appreciated, someone with whom she can feel safe, comfortable, and be herself with, etc.).

4.) Project a "Future Success...Now" drama in your mind.
You've decided she's worth it, you're worth it, and you want it. Now mentally project a detailed scenario of yourself inwardly set and feeling totally confident to approach and speak with her. Then experience yourself initiating a dialogue with smoothness, poise and charm, communicating easily and freely about yourself, what you like about her, and confidently requesting a phone number or asking her out for a date.

Tell her where you'd like to go, what you'd like to do (be appropriate), and the kind of good time you feel will be had.

Notice and enjoy her receptivity to your confident directness, your comfortable natural communication, and your appealing interactive style.

Experience yourself easily, freely saying what you need and want to, in the way you need and want to.

Make this scenario as vivid, realistic and as sensory rich as you possibly can. After you've played this inner drama all the way through, momentarily emotionally savor the impact and affect your natural appealing confidence - and personal charm - registered with her. Then say to yourself, "I can do this smoothly and efficiently; now, I go for it!"

The next time you get a smile, hair twirl, or other non-verbal interest response, apply tips 1-4. Then, just walk up to your opportunity and fully be the incredible you!


Powerhouse self-help author, clinician, and national TV therapist, Pete Siegel is the country’s foremost peak performance hypnotherapist and personal best coach. Go now to review his acclaimed PowerMind© best selling life and success building programs, including Building Super Confidence, Success Mind-Sets, Living Invincibly Positive, Using Your Stress To Fuel Your Success!, Winning At Life, and the landmark book

The Formula© at www.incrediblechange.com